Beards Make You Look More Attractive...
But YOUR beard looks like a hairball caught in the bottom of a shower drain!
Coarse and cataclysmically unruly...
Everyone knows that a magnificent beard is a centerpiece for a man's face, nay his entire existence! But not yours chap...
Your beard, when left unpolished, looks like a rat's nest made out of steel wool and toilet bowl brushes...
And there is nothing less refined than a beard that is filled to the brim with dandruff and self doubt...
Polished Gentleman is here to help you tame your man mane and reclaim your follicle glory!
Made with superior natural and organic ingredients our beard products are perfect for that embarrassment you call five o'clock shadow...
The Polished Gentleman Beard Enhancement Kit is the ONLY beardly bundle equipped with the tools you need to grow the beard you've always wanted...
Our Beard Thickening Shampoo leaves your face forest, thicker than a jungle and fuller than a Mexican restaurant's bathroom on a Taco Tuesday. Muy caliente!
Our Beard Softening Conditioner leaves your lion's mane, feeling soft as a baby's bottom all while staying as badass as Chuck Norris jumping 4 monster trucks on the back of a Harley Davidson motorcycle with his eyes closed...
Our Premium Beard Growth Oil gives your skin and beard hair the nutrients it needs to grow into the beautiful conversation starter that it should be...
And our Beard Shaping Balm, which helps to tame your savage beard for the first time ever in your adult life by shaping and holding your beard how you want it all day long...
We only use all natural and organic ingredients that are healthy for your beard and skin. As well, you can impress the ladies with your ingredient conscious skincare routine... They love that sort of thing ;)
Our beard products have no obnoxious scent... Instead we use a combination of oils that act as a natural deodorant for your beard and give your hair a fresh clean smell... How is that for an aphrodisiac?
The Beard Enhancement Kit is easy to use! Just follow the directions written on each product. It's a simple 4-step routine...
Use the beard conditioner in the shower to make that steel wool you call a beard feel softer than the feathers of a baby duckling wrapped in a snuggie...
Use the beard shampoo in the shower to clean your beard and strengthen individual hairs so that your beard can appear much thicker and fuller... Just as you would use normal shampoo for your hair!
Next, use the beard oil to give your hair the nutrients it needs for longterm growth...
And last but not least, shape your mane how you want with the beard balm to have a hold that lasts all day!
In a recent non-scientific, but very informative, fixed study...
It was found that 102.7% of a man's confidence is derived directly from the brilliance and stature of his glorious cheek bushes.
If you're ready to cast off that patchy tumbleweed that you've been calling facial hair and dive into a luscious full and altogether more manageable beard, then let's get you polished up...
Well then behold, the shining accountings of those who have purchased before you. Don't you want to be like them?
And with our 30-Day Money-Back Guarantee so will you.
It's time for you to cultivate a beard that would make even the great Zeus himself jealous and slightly insecure.
Get your Beard Enhancement Kit now...
Go ahead. I'll wait.
Sincerely,
The Founding Fathers
P.S.
If you are one of those barbarians who doesn't like to read and always skips to the end... you missed out!
